Author and friend Barb Haller recently published a great article in Heart of Ohio magazine about getting along with daughter-in-laws. Her thoughts prompted me to think about the people who married my children and my relationships with them.
As is often the case, for good or ill, my son married his mother, figuratively speaking. Gina and I are/have been elementary school teachers, teaching a range of grades but settling into fifth grade. (Hers now is actually a combination fourth/fifth.) We are both from Tennessee. We both grew up in the Church of Christ. Both of us had mothers who loved the Lord wholeheartedly but at times drove us crazy. We both attended Lipscomb University.
We love foreign travel and home décor, though she’s taken it to a much higher level than I. We love auctions; she attends and buys now as I did years ago.
We both have strong opinions and are outspoken. Enough said.
Once Gina said the one word to describe herself was “well-intentioned.” I feel that way about myself as well. I intend to do so many good things for people that I don’t follow through on. Yet we both manage some helpful gestures. As she does more and more, I see myself doing less. But we both keep trying to improve, trying to show the love of Jesus in our everyday lives.
I remember the first time she visited our house–about 20 years ago–and I suggested we go out to lunch together. Little did I know she was terrified that I was going to offer some ultimatum about my son and their relationship. I was totally innocent, thinking that we could enjoy talking shop, as teacher to teacher. I could hardly get a word out of her. Now I know how rare that was! She kept waiting for the other shoe to drop.
We both maintain a sense of humor. How else could we survive working with students, parents, and churches?
So now we are dear friends. I love hearing about her church, school, and family activities. She’s a good listener about my life.
She goes far beyond me in her concern for both the environment and good nutrition for her family. I admire her interest in honoring the natural world God gave us. Her example and encouragement have prompted me to compost (over Steve’s strong objections), to recycle everything possible, to eat more natural foods, and, best of all, to be more assertive in sharing my love for Jesus.
When I refer to my children, I think of all four—the two we reared and the two they married. I will write about Stephen the next time.
For now, I must say that Gina is dear and precious to me—a true daughter and friend.






Bev
I agree with all you wrote – we have both been so blessed with the spouses our children have chosen! They just enrich our families greatly.
Lanita Boyd
Bev,
Thank you for giving me the opportunity to say how much I love your daughters-in-law! They are both very talented with precious personalities and a deep love for the Lord. How blessed we both are!
Lanita
Barb Haller
Lanita, thank you for recognizing my article in Heart of Ohio magazine. I think this is a vital topic, becoming a “mother-in-love” as I call it. What is this life God gave us if not about relationships? I’m a relative newbie to my children’s spouses … and I look to you for a great example!
Lanita Boyd
Barb,
I had a great relationship with my mother-in-law andd feel so sorry for those who struggle in the in-law relationships. It’s all about golden-rule love and unselfishness. That pretty much takes care of it all.
Lanita
Josh
Looking back over 20 years, Gina and I have both been blessed that all of our parents so clearly love and support both of us!
Lanita Boyd
Thanks, Josh! You and Gina make it easy.
Peggy Messenger
Lanita,
As always I am impressed with your view of life. Isn’t it grand? And aren’t you blessed with fantastic folks?
Love you,
Peggy
Lanita Boyd
Thanks, Peggy. I’m sure you’re a great mother-in-law.
Drue Wright
The people our childre chose to marry can eiher enhance the family or causea lot of heartache. I had a wonderful relationship with my husband’s mother and will cherish it forever. I’ve had fantastic relationships with many of my children’s spouses and cherish those as well.
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